A Journey of Doubt into Faith:
Examining "Crossing Jordan" From a Spiritual Perspective
By Beth Strickland
Beth is the Minister of Youth and Young Adults at Christ Espiscopal Church in Waukegan, Illinois. She has a Master's Degree in Theological Studies from Virginia Theological Seminary and is completing a Certificate in Youth and Theology from Princeton Theological Seminary.

Easter is the one Christian "holy" day that's guaranteed to bring up questions about the Christian faith. "You mean this man was crucified and then rose from the dead?" "What proof do you have?" "How can you possibly believe something like that?" We've probably all heard these questions from other folks, and if we're honest, a lot of us have probably asked the same questions. We like to see proof, or at least experience it in some way that makes our belief in the resurrection real to us. Deep down, we'd like to be able to point to something and say "This! This is why I can believe and why you can too!"

When you work with teenagers, especially in a church setting, you are constantly confronted with questions about faith, doubts, beliefs, and truth. For the two years I was in Raleigh, I was responsible for leading the Confirmation program for our young people in 9th grade and above. We had a lock-in where we dealt specifically with the questions of truth: What is truth? How do you know if something's true? What makes something true? Using the films Contact one year, and The Truman Show the next, we engaged in long, animated discussions about truth. These young people were eager to talk about their faith and excited to learn that it's ok to have doubts, to ask questions.

We talked about our own doubts and fears, our own struggles with belief, even the times when we weren't even sure if God existed at all. September 11 has reawakened those questions in a lot of people - some who have struggled with these questions all their lives, some who thought their faith and belief system was completely intact and unshakable. Where do we turn when we can't answer all the questions? Is it ok to say, "I don't know?" How do we begin to reclaim our faith?

This year, I'm in a new parish in the Chicago area and I'm responsible for leading a Bible Study for the teenagers during our "Sunday Evenings in Lent" program. For four of the weeks, we're going to study scripture passages. But I wanted to have a chance to address questions of faith and doubt. Having only an hour at most for this discussion, I was struggling with what to do since you can't work an entire movie into that time frame. Then in January, I sat down to watch one of my favorite TV shows, "Crossing Jordan."

For those who have not watched the NBC series, Jordan Cavanaugh (Jill Hennessy) is a medical examiner that has returned to her roots in the Boston Medical Examiners Office. Haunted by the murder of her mother when she was 10, she fights to find the cause behind the death of each body she is assigned, even if that means crossing swords with the police. Usually the cases are crime-oriented, but this week it was different. There are some back-stories that relate somewhat to the primary story, but for this article, I'm referring to the scenes regarding Jordan's case.

Called to a Roman Catholic Church, Jordan discovers the body of a man who apparently died standing up in front of the altar, arms outstretched, complete with stigmata. The priest says that he had been helping out around the parish as a handy man and continues by telling Jordan the man claimed to be Saint Francis and said that he was to "rebuild the church." Jordan essentially became agnostic, almost atheistic after her mother's murder, and she is positive there is a scientific explanation for everything, even this. Yet when she examines the body, she finds that the wounds of the stigmata were made from the inside out, something that science cannot explain.

This throws Jordan into a confusing world, with regard to a possible explanation, or, what she can trust. Adding to her anxiety, her father is seeing a doctor for cancer and is awaiting the results of his tests. Jordan begins to ask herself what she has to fall back on (faith-wise) if something happens to her father. She enlists the help of an old boyfriend, who is now a Roman Catholic priest. But, Jordan grows frustrated when the priest states that there are some things science can't explain. Through twists and turns, Jordan is able to explain the death and the way the body got to the altar, but she is unable to explain the stigmata or the fact that the body left the morgue at night when everything was secured for the night.

These events, coupled with the possibility of losing her father send Jordan on a search that eventually leads her back into the confessional booth where she asks her old friend to help her pray because she figures he's "got a direct line to God." Her friend tells her that all she has to do is open her heart.

This episode goes a long way in helping us to begin dialogue, to open the door for that process. After that, it's up to us, as leaders of youth, to keep that door open. To help young people realize that it's ok to have doubts and questions is essential if we are to help this generation stay in the church. Yes, some people respond well to very rigid structures, but others need the freedom to ask questions and they need to know that we'll still be there for them, regardless of how long they search and struggle.

Whether it's by phone, email, letters, phone calls, or just being there and sitting with someone who's struggling, it's a precious chance to reach out and touch a young person's life and heart. Ultimately it's their journey and they must make it themselves, but we have the honor of serving as helpers, sherpas if you will. And that's an honor none of us should take lightly.

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