Water Lilly On April 20th 2006, I was in an accident that left me in a halo for three months. I have spoken of this in another article from that year.

While contemplating the year that has now gone by since that night, I find myself still looking at the world with that stillness. Finding the time that had been lost and letting it go or trying to make up for it, are two events that seem to cause me great time spent in thought. Before the wreck I was one of those men who kept his every minute full of devices that kept me from relaxing. I was lost in an event filled yet lacking direction life.

Twenty years ago a friend of mine, who had the same experience with a near death accident, did the standard “I am going to change my life and Slow down” and with in the year after the crash was busier than he was before. I watched this happen to him and at the time thought why has he changed back to the man he did not want to be? That was in a time in my life where being aware of God was not a real part of me, at least as far as I knew, for I had taken God for granted.

Watching this friend revert back to his earlier behavior made me a little mad. I thought then that he was not paying attention to how he was working too hard, and how it was keeping him from so much in life. (This was during a period in life where my relationship with God was astray.)

I see it now that we both did not have a place to find the peace we each needed. The discovery of the stillness and peace that comes from our traumatic experiences shows us the spiritual outlet that we need. It provides the time for that serenity and love. Being forced into a tranquil and listening state as I was on that faithful night, taught me only because I had already become aware of God’s ever-presence.

That is not to say I have not been busy. On the contrary, the state of life finds me running around constantly. Maybe even more than before, yet the difference is that in the middle of the industrious time spent on things that are thought of as overdue, I try to find the time to watch what is happening while it is being done. It takes longer to achieve an end goal yet I find that the process is more alive.

In the past being busy was a burden. Having the feeling like there just is not enough time in the day for all that needs to be done. (I am sure you know this sentiment) now filling the time I have, to do the works that God has both asked and given to me to do, seems joyful in the act of doing them.

This seems to be another part of the recovery process that I have learned. Given a “second chance” is not really what happens. We are shown that all things that we do as God’s people, even the mundane, can have a sense of love attached to them. Washing clothes does not bring to mind the gift that God has bestowed on us, you are saying. Well, in the act of placing your clothes in the machine shouldn’t we feel the wonder that we are not walking to the river and beating upon the rocks and watching the river send our dirt down stream? Others do it that way.

We have a hard time understanding how the plain acts that most of us can perform, are in fact gifts to us. As I approach each day with a new purpose, I drive to seek out what I am to do for the good of all mankind. Whether it is to help build a house or get coffee for a coworker, I am always looking carefully for that spark and blessing from above. I am constantly wondering how God decided that He was not finished with me yet, and how am I to repay Him, has been the greatest part of my recovery.

In the end the simple tasks take on new meaning each day and the tears of joy and sorrow are deeper. Right after my halo was removed, I went through periods of depression and questioning as to why it had to happen. One Sunday service I realized my voice was not the same as it was before the crash. Sitting in church thinking how much I had lost, an announcement was made during the prayers of the people that a young couple in our church who had lost an unborn child. God showed me at that moment how wrong I was, and how I needed to rethink loss. Since that day, I have thought that people seem to believe that only the good and happy and fortunate times are the experiences that need to be noticed. I invite you to watch each moment and find a position to see the joy and love in every little thing you do. With the knowledge that a God such as ours is ever-present and shares His love to us in this way and helps us to grow in faith through all of our life experiences.

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